“I didn’t see it!” That is an often repeated phrase by people. They say it when they run a red light that they thought was yellow. They say it when they make a turn and clip the curb. They say it when they forget an appointment on their calendar. They say it when they fail to turn in a homework assignment.
I even said it today when I failed to notice a finance charge added to a bill. I know why I said it. It felt better than admitting the full truth. You see we use this phrase to remove blame from our shoulders. “I didn’t see it” becomes our excuse. We can’t be held responsible for something we didn’t see.
But, isn’t it really just a smokescreen for admitting the truth. We should have seen it but we were preoccupied or distracted or just not paying attention. I hear that from couples who end up divorcing when one says about the other’s decision to step away from the relationship, “I didn’t see it coming.”
These are big things we feel we should be seeing but we completely miss them due to a variety of things. Now, I am not trying to pull out the scolding finger and lay blame. I simply think we need to be honest and say “we wish we had paid more attention.” That is really a more accurate statement, isn’t it?
Once we have said the truth, we can begin to move toward healing from that decision or mistake or oversight or error in judgement. We can begin to change our approach the next time we enter a turn or a relationship.
Sounds better doesn’t it? And don’t get me started about the phrase, “I didn’t hear you.”