Speechless

I haven’t done a lot of writing lately. I have been really busy and extremely worn out at night. I seem to go through the day expending all my energy and then crash like a zombie at night.

Actually, I am uncertain how and even if a zombie sleeps but I couldn’t come up with another word. Before you think I am totally nuts, I do know that zombies don’t exist. But, that doesn’t mean I can’t act like one. Pretty weird, I know.

Anyway, I guess you can tell by now that I really haven’t had a whole lot to talk about. Well, honestly, that is not true. I have really had too much to talk about. I have been inundated with so much stuff, so much stimuli that I had too much to talk about.

I don’t know if you know how that feels or if I am even explaining it very well but there are times when so much is going on in our lives that we just have to live it.

Commentary seems to be overwhelming or maybe what I really mean to say is that words are underwhelming. Real life is so poignant, so incredibly vivid that words can seem so limited in comparison.

There are times that I realize that I simply talk in order to fill up the empty space. I think we are afraid if we stop talking we will stop existing. And so, we keep speaking hoping I think that someone will notice, really notice us.

The problem with that is we fail to really notice everything else and everyone else. A friend of mine has been signing off his emails with the following phrase that follows: “Are you really listening or … just waiting your turn to talk?” I think that is true about me at times if I really looked at myself honestly.

We are missing out on a whole lot of living by filling up our lives with useless words. There is nothing wrong with talking but there is a whole lot of talking that keeps us from listening to important stuff others are trying to say.

My grandparents always reminded me that I had two ears and only one mouth which means I should listen twice as much as I speak. But, if you add the eyes to the equation, then I should talk only about a fourth of the time. I need to take it all in, everything and everyone around me. They are God’s gifts!

The second lesson I have learned from talking less is that it reminds me how much I have to learn. I discover lessons that I would ordinarily miss because I was too busy to pay attention.

So, I may not always have exactly the right words to say. But, I guess that really is OK.

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