So, I was headed home today and was listening to pop radio, not even sure which station. In between the musical selections, they were replaying a radio quiz show.
In this particular segment, they had asked a young 20 something who apparently was recently engaged some questions that she had to answer honestly if she was going to “win.”
So, one of the questions concerned her engagement ring. She was asked if she liked the ring. She answered “yes.” Seems like a good thing.
But the follow up question was whether or not she thought her fiance had spent enough for the ring. She said “no.”
Hmmm…. I might not be too pleased if I was the young man she was soon to marry. I mean, what is she really saying in making this statement? Will he ever really satisfy her?
That seemed to be concerning enough but the next question the young lady was supposed to ask referred to her two best girl friends. The question was which one of the two of her buds had been with the most partners sexually.
Probably not a question to answer if she wants to maintain friendships but she unhesitatingly said the name of the girl and followed up by saying that her “friend” had been with over 60 men.
That got my attention. I mean what is happening when intimate sexual relations are casually discussed like we talk about the weather. Do they even understand what this kind of intimacy means?
Upon further reflection, I started to think about my own life. I tried to calculate how many sexual partners I have had in my life. It took awhile but I finally came up with the number: one!
That’s it! Thankfully, I have had sexual relations with this amazing woman more than once… it must have been at least three times since we have three kids.
So, what have I missed? I mean according to modern society’s concept I must really be a loser. Here are a few things I have missed out on:
1. Sex without strings attached, without needing to be in love or even seriously committed to the other person.
2. STDs and unwanted pregancies.
3. Waking up alone after one night stands.
4. Never having to really get to know the other person in a truly intimate relationship.
5. Sleeping with someone I later regret.
6. Multiple breakups.
7. Countless comparisons focusing on how well the other person “performed.”
These are just a few of the things I have “missed.” On the other hand, I have gotten to know what real intimacy is all about.
I have discovered that the best possible sex occurs when committed in a love relationship with one person, getting to know each other emotionally, spiritually, and physically over a lifetime.
When the whole picture comes together in this way, it is pretty sweet!