Anger… I feel it sometimes. I feel it when the guy cuts me off in traffic. I feel it when someone disagrees with me. I feel it when I hit a bad shot on the basketball court or the golf course.
I felt the other day when nothing went right. I tried to be a handy man around my house and fix some stuff. I went to the store, bought the things I thought I needed. That part seemed to go smoothly; too smoothly I would find out later!
I went home and began to “fix” the toilet leak… the problem was I didn’t have all the parts. I tried to “fix” the vertical blinds but forgot to get the right measurements. I tried to “fix” the broken curtain rods but had the wrong anchors for the wall.
Everything I tried to fix didn’t work. I got angry. I wanted something in my life to work. One of the things that makes me angry is when stuff I want to fix, isn’t fixable. That is especially true with people. It really makes me angry when I can’t fix them.
I thought maybe in these simple household tasks, I could fix something! I could stand back and marvel at my accomplishments. It didn’t work. Anger!
Anger comes from many sources including pain from the past, fear about tomorrow, insecurities deep inside. And, anger can come from times when my life and my world is out of control.
That was the anger I felt the other day. It is the anger I feel when I can’t fix people. Even though I know it isn’t possible, I still want to fix everything and everyone around me.
I guess if I can get past my desire to always be in control, I might not be as frustrated by unfixable stuff. And, I would have less anger in my life. The only way I think that is possible is to find someone else to control it all. Wonder who that might be…